{"id":9449,"date":"2022-09-16T08:10:26","date_gmt":"2022-09-16T15:10:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lupusla.org\/?p=9449"},"modified":"2022-09-16T09:32:08","modified_gmt":"2022-09-16T16:32:08","slug":"patient-voices-lupus-mental-health","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev.mab.marketing\/lupusla\/patient-voices-lupus-mental-health\/","title":{"rendered":"Patient Voices: Lupus & Mental Health\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"
Patient Voices: Lupus & Mental Health by Krissy Stephenson<\/strong><\/h5>\n

I have battled anxiety most of my life. This is my story with mental health illnesses. I want to start off by saying you are not alone. Your life matters. You are not unlovable. We need exactly who God created you to be. You are more than your mistakes and your worst day. I have seen God love me through the messiest parts of my life. September is suicide prevention month. If you\u2019re struggling and your thoughts are becoming too big, please reach out! The Suicide Prevention Lifeline is #988.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was a type 1, goal oriented, go-getter when I was younger. I got validation and worth by working hard and getting good grades. That’s what filled me. It gave me purpose and confidence. I say \u201cI was a type 1\u201d because while some say don’t let this disease define you, there are some aspects of your life that are undeniably different because of lupus and chronic illness and it is out of your control.<\/span><\/p>\n

The first diagnosis I ever received was general anxiety disorder. I was 17 years old. I remember getting my ACT score\u2026 I had a tutor and I studied so hard. Then one day I received my 2nd ACT score. I started spiraling, feeling like I was drowning. Despite working hard my score fell into the range of\u00a0 \u201cyou aren’t smart and you’re not going to the school you worked so hard to get into\u201d. One test\u2026it felt like my future and worth was tied to this one dumb test.<\/span><\/p>\n

I won\u2019t get into the details, but I felt like I needed to be punished. I felt like how could I not do better when I did everything I could to succeed? It was the first of many times I would be humbled by trying so hard, but not succeeding. The first time I saw a therapist was after that incident. I also started medication when therapy wasn\u2019t enough. Most of my friends didn’t understand. It was just a test. I was so lonely and felt misunderstood. Friends and family thought it was something I could turn on and off and that was not the case.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was diagnosed with RA for 10 years before I was diagnosed with lupus diagnosis and got the combination of what I call \u201cRhupus\u201d – rheumatoid arthritis & lupus. My rheumatologist took a complete top to bottom approach and helped me understand that part of lupus is anxiety and depression. Of course, mental health affects every disease, difficult season or can show up as its own diagnosis. This was the first time I heard anxiety be described and monitored as a symptom of lupus. The National Library of Medicine says \u201c<\/span>Psychological manifestations such as depression and anxiety are very common. Major depression is present in approximately 25% of lupus patients, and <\/span>major anxiety in 37%<\/b>. These presentations are often among the earliest symptoms to manifest in lupus.\u201d The first symptom to manifest in lupus\u2026.THE FIRST SYMPTOM!!! I wonder how many people have lupus and are being tossed into the \u201cit’s all in your head\u201d \u201cit\u2019s just anxiety\u201d blanket diagnosis? I know I heard it so many times!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

11 years ago, after having my first son I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. Depression wasn\u2019t something I had experienced before. I\u2019m more of an anxiety type of gal! I was well prepared for lack of sleep, but no one told me changing diapers and breastfeeding would be extremely challenging. That your spoons deplete within the first hour of being awake and there is no spoon mortgage program. People shamed me about formula feeding my baby. I tried very hard to breastfeed my son, but as I was absorbing shame and other people’s opinions, I ignored a very helpful solution\u2026formula feeding! My disease started to flare so bad, I was in so much emotional and physical pain. I needed help. I went back to therapy, found help watching my son, I started back on my biologic for RA and started an antidepressant. All that sounds easy, but it felt impossible. Asking for help is not easy, but it is extremely brave.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Throughout my life I have been told \u201cyou’re too much\u201d. I have lost many friends who didn’t want to sit with me through the fire of mental health issues and chronic pain\/autoimmune diseases. I want you to know that you are not \u201ctoo much\u201d but \u201cmore than enough\u201d. I believe that you were created for a purpose and we need you here.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Some things that have helped me:<\/span><\/p>\n